Hiding

During that four week break between graduation and the start of my new job I got together with Krista and Britton at a central location. We had a long full day of fun and adventure in the big city. At the end of the evening we all hesitated to say good-bye. We stood awkwardly beside Britton’s truck and completely avoided the fact that we had no idea when the next reunion would be. At a lull in the conversation Krista wrapped her arms around me and Britton and pulled us all in to a great big group hug. I’m sure this must have looked exceptionally odd with Britton being a foot taller than me. (But trust me, I wasn’t complaining.)

There were sniffles all around. I’m pretty sure we were all crying a little. Britton hugged Krista, Krista hugged me, I hugged Krista… Then Britton put both of his hands on my shoulders and spoke words that I will not soon forget. Yeah…I cried…a lot. So did he. Then his arms, his long strong arms wrapped around me. Heaven. It was an intoxicating moment. He pulled away and was unable to even speak. Britton was crying his eyes out. Sobbing, he walked over to his truck and drove away. Krista, still at my side, said, “Its really too bad you boys aren’t gay. You’d be too cute together.”

I awkwardly laughed and offered to drive her across the parking lot to her car. We lingered and talked for a few minutes, but then we too parted. Since then I have not seen Britton. I was unable to attend his wedding, but he did call me on the way to the airport before he left for his honeymoon.

So for that two year period I felt like I was hiding my true self. I felt especially bad about this concerning my relationship with Krista. I had turned her down several times without giving a good explanation. But I was doing what I thought needed to be done.

Just as I thought I had everything under control, something happened that changed my life. Before I even knew what was happening I was in deep. I was on the verge of entering a whole new phase of my life.

Yes. You are right. Josh is about to meet a boy.